wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
How external is "for external use only"?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
