Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
