She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
