i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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