Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
