If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
