I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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