"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
