I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
