well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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