I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
