Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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