I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
