I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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