I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
