First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
