tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
