farters have to be the big spoon...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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