You really coming over, don't trick.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
