I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
