So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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