yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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