Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
