Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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