it was like his penis was on wheels.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
