Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
love makes seman taste better
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
