I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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