all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
