Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
