I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
