Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Damn victory sex feels great
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
