I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
