hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
