he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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