Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
