Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
