I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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