i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
