Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
tell me about the fingering
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