this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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