I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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