The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
This toilet bowl is my home.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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