Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am available for nakedness
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
