Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
