Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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