I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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