Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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