wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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