he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
