I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
